The Illustrated Works of Shakespeare/Illustrated Works of Shakespeare, The (1990)(Animated Pixels)[!][CDTV-PC].iso/shakes/text/08/01_02

Text File | 1991-04-10 | 11KB | 265 lines

London. The Prince's Lodging.
 Enter PRINCE OF WALES and SIR JOHN FALSTAFF.

Falstaff    Now, Hal, what time of day is it, lad?

Prince Henry    Thou art so fat-witted with drinking of old sack, and
    unbuttoning thee after supper, and sleeping upon benches
    after noon, that thou hast forgotten to demand that truly
    which thou wouldst truly know. What a devil hast thou to
    do with the time of the day? Unless hours were cups of
    sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds,
    and dials the signs of leaping-houses, and the blessed sun
    himself a fair hot wench in flame-coloured taffeta, I see
    no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to demand
    the time of the day.

Falstaff    Indeed you come near me now, Hal, for we that take purses
    go by the moon and the seven stars, and not "by Phoebus,
    he, that wand'ring knight so fair". And I prithee, sweet
    wag, when thou art a king, as God save thy grace - majesty
    I should say, for grace thou wilt have none-

Prince Henry    What, none?

Falstaff    No, by my troth, not so much as will serve to be prologue
    to an egg and butter.

Prince Henry    Well, how then? Come, roundly, roundly.

Falstaff    Marry then, sweet wag, when thou art king let not us that
    are squires of the night's body be called thieves of the
    day's beauty: let us be Diana's foresters, gentlemen of
    the shade, minions of the moon; and let men say we be men
    of good government, being governed, as the sea is, by our
    noble and chaste mistress the moon, under whose
    countenance we steal.

Prince Henry    Thou sayst well, and it holds well too; for the fortune of
    us that are the moon's men doth ebb and flow like the sea,
    being governed as the sea is by the moon. As for proof
    now: a purse of gold most resolutely snatched on Monday
    night, and most dissolutely spent on Tuesday morning; got
    with swearing "Lay by!", and spent with crying "Bring
    in!"; now in as low an ebb as the foot of the ladder, and
    by and by in as high a flow as the ridge of the gallows.

Falstaff    By the Lord, thou sayst true, lad - and is not my hostess
    of the tavern a most sweet wench?

Prince Henry    As the honey of Hybla, my old lad of the castle; and is
    not a buff jerkin a most sweet robe of durance?

Falstaff    How now, how now, mad wag? What, in thy quips and thy
    quiddities? What a plague have I to do with a buff jerkin?

Prince Henry    Why, what a pox have I to do with my hostess of the
    tavern?

Falstaff    Well, thou hast called her to a reckoning many a time and
    oft.

Prince Henry    Did I ever call for thee to pay thy part?

Falstaff    No, I'll give thee thy due, thou hast paid all there.

Prince Henry    Yea, and elsewhere, so far as my coin would stretch; and
    where it would not I have used my credit.

Falstaff    Yea, and so used it that were it not here apparent that
    thou art heir apparent - but I prithee, sweet wag, shall
    there be gallows standing in England when thou art king?
    And resolution thus fubbed as it is with the rusty curb of
    old father Antic the law? Do not thou when thou art king
    hang a thief.

Prince Henry    No, thou shalt.

Falstaff    Shall I? O rare! By the Lord, I'll be a brave judge.

Prince Henry    Thou judgest false already. I mean thou shalt have the
    hanging of the thieves, and so become a rare hangman.

Falstaff    Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with my humour
    as well as waiting in the court, I can tell you.

Prince Henry    For obtaining of suits?

Falstaff    Yea, for obtaining of suits, whereof the hangman hath no
    lean wardrobe. 'Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib-cat or
    a lugged bear.

Prince Henry    Or an old lion, or a lover's lute.

Falstaff    Yea, or the drone of a Lincolnshire bagpipe.

Prince Henry    What sayst thou to a hare, or the melancholy of Moorditch?

Falstaff    Thou hast the most unsavoury similes, and art indeed the
    most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince. But,
    Hal, I prithee trouble me no more with vanity. I would to
    God thou and I knew where a commodity of good names were
    to be bought. An old lord of the Council rated me the
    other day in the street about you, sir, but I marked him
    not; and yet he talked very wisely, but I regarded him
    not; and yet he talked wisely, and in the street too.

Prince Henry    Thou didst well, for wisdom cries out in the streets, and
    no man regards it.

Falstaff    O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art indeed able to
    corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal,
    God forgive thee for it. Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew
    nothing; and now am I, if a man should speak truly, little
    better than one of the wicked. I must give over this life,
    and I will give it over - by the Lord, an I do not I am a
    villain! I'll be damned for never a king's son in
    Christendom.

Prince Henry    Where shall we take a purse tomorrow, Jack?

Falstaff    Zounds, where thou wilt, lad! I'll make one; an I do not,
    call me villain and baffle me.

Prince Henry    I see a good amendment of life in thee, from praying to
    purse-taking.

Falstaff    Why, Hal, 'tis my vocation, Hal; 'tis no sin for a man to
    labour in his vocation.

                               Enter POINS.

    Poins! Now shall we know if Gadshill have set a match. O,
    if men were to be saved by merit, what hole in hell were
    hot enough for him? This is the most omnipotent villain
    that ever cried "Stand!" to a true man.

Prince Henry    Good morrow, Ned.

Poins    Good morrow, sweet Hal. What says Monsieur Remorse? What
    says Sir John Sack-and-Sugar? Jack, how agrees the devil
    and thee about thy soul, that thou soldest him on Good
    Friday last for a cup of Madeira and a cold capon's leg?

Prince Henry    Sir John stands to his word, the devil shall have his
    bargain; for he was never yet a breaker of proverbs: he
    will give the devil his due.

Poins    Then art thou damned for keeping thy word with the devil.

Prince Henry    Else he had been damned for cozening the devil.

Poins    But my lads, my lads, tomorrow morning, by four o'clock
    early at Gads Hill! There are pilgrims going to Canterbury
    with rich offerings, and traders riding to London with fat
    purses. I have vizards for you all; you have horses for
    yourselves; Gadshill lies tonight in Rochester; I have
    bespoke supper tomorrow night in Eastcheap: we may do it
    as secure as sleep. If you will go, I will stuff your
    purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and
    be hanged.

Falstaff    Hear ye, Yedward: if I tarry at home and go not, I'll hang
    you for going.

Poins    You will, chops?

Falstaff    Hal, wilt thou make one?

Prince Henry    Who, I rob? I a thief? Not I, by my faith.

Falstaff    There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowship in
    thee, nor thou camest not of the blood royal if thou
    darest not stand for ten shillings.

Prince Henry    Well then, once in my days I'll be a madcap.

Falstaff    Why, that's well said.

Prince Henry    Well, come what will, I'll tarry at home.

Falstaff    By the Lord, I'll be a traitor then, when thou art king.

Prince Henry    I care not.

Poins    Sir John, I prithee leave the Prince and me alone. I will
    lay him down such reasons for this adventure that he shall
    go.

Falstaff    Well, God give thee the spirit of persuasion and him the
    ears of profiting, that what thou speakest may move, and
    what he hears may be believed, that the true prince may,
    for recreation sake, prove a false thief, for the poor
    abuses of the time want countenance. Farewell, you shall
    find me in Eastcheap.

Prince Henry    Farewell, the latter spring! Farewell, All-hallown summer!
                                                [Exit FALSTAFF.

Poins    Now, my good sweet honey lord, ride with us tomorrow. I
    have a jest to execute that I cannot manage alone.
    Falstaff, Bardolph, Peto, and Gadshill shall rob those men
    that we have already waylaid - yourself and I will not be
    there - and when they have the booty, if you and I do not
    rob them, cut this head off from my shoulders.

Prince Henry    How shall we part with them in setting forth?

Poins    Why, we will set forth before or after them, and appoint
    them a place of meeting, wherein it is at our pleasure to
    fail; and then will they adventure upon the exploit
    themselves, which they shall have no sooner achieved but
    we'll set upon them.

Prince Henry    Yea, but 'tis like that they will know us by our horses,
    by our habits, and by every other appointment, to be
    ourselves.

Poins    Tut, our horses they shall not see, I'll tie them in the
    wood; our vizards we will change after we leave them; and,
    sirrah, I have cases of buckram for the nonce, to immask
    our noted outward garments.

Prince Henry    Yea, but I doubt they will be too hard for us.

Poins    Well, for two of them, I know them to be as true-bred
    cowards as ever turned back; and for the third, if he
    fight longer than he sees reason, I'll forswear arms. The
    virtue of this jest will be the incomprehensible lies that
    this same fat rogue will tell us when we meet at supper:
    how thirty at least he fought with, what wards, what
    blows, what extremities he endured; and in the reproof of
    this lives the jest.

Prince Henry    Well, I'll go with thee. Provide us all things necessary
    and meet me tomorrow night in Eastcheap; there I'll sup.
    Farewell.

Poins    Farewell, my lord.
                                                [Exit.

Prince Henry    I know you all, and will awhile uphold
    The unyoked humour of your idleness.
    Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
    Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
    To smother up his beauty from the world,
    That, when he please again to be himself,
    Being wanted, he may be more wondered at
    By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
    Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
    If all the year were playing holidays,
    To sport would be as tedious as to work;
    But when they seldom come, they wished-for come,
    And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
    So when this loose behaviour I throw off
    And pay the debt I never promisd,
    By how much better than my word I am,
    By so much shall I falsify men's hopes;
    And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
    My reformation, glitt'ring o'er my fault,
    Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
    Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
    I'll so offend to make offence a skill,
    Redeeming time when men think least I will.
                                                [Exit.